Thursday, September 23, 2004


So, I really really really really really hate computers!!!!!!! My laptop has decided to break and now I have my sister's desktop computer and yea, it can't get on the internet because the damn thing is too old and doesn't have a port of my ethernet cable in my room. So, in other words, i'm currently in the basement of my dorm building writing this and it is really bugging me. Most of all, i can't talk to friends from the privacy of my own room, so, yea......i'm NOT happy!! But, it's all good b/c I got to talk to Josh last night and so, that chased my blues away!!! Hehehehehehe! Thank you Josh! Anyway, I am MAJORLY procrasinating (which is what college is all about....or at least for me! LOL) and I really don't want to go, but, I probably should! And at this point you have probably stopped reading, b/c i'm just boring and ya'll that know me.....well......know me. lol. Ok, I'm signing off. Hope to talk to you from my room next time I'm on here!!!!

Friday, September 17, 2004

If a man....

If a man
does not keep pace
with his companions,
perhaps it is
because he hears
a different drummer.

Let him step
to the music
which he hears,
however measured
or far away.

-Henry David Thoreau

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Why can't i be me??? i always feel so lost; so lonely. I'm in college now. i'm suppose to be ENJOYING myself and here i am, in my dorm room....alone. i am enjoying myself to a certain degree. there is more to me than just being gay. I'm tired of the running. I'm tired of the hiding. I'm tired of wearing this mask that i have worn for sooo long. i have had crushes before and i have crushes now. i have loved someone who doesn't return the feeling and it makes me heartbroken. But, I put on that mask for him and for me to keep our friendship intact. Why is it so hard? Why the freak is it so hard????

The Road Not Taken

The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

---Robert Frost